Hello World

Hi there, whoever is even reading this... It's been awhile since I've revisited this blog. Read through a couple pages of what has happened. Felt that life kinda fast forwarded itself on me.

4 years have passed... 

What the flying fuck.

But I guess it's a good time to do this stock take now. Been trying to get myself v busy at work and not come home so early so I will tire myself at night so I can sleep like a baby... But I guess my mind is still much stronger cos it keeps wondering non stop. I was actually inspired by Bianca Sparacino to start writing again. It's not so much to capture the poetic essence, but to capture these moments and emotions that were crucial to this part of my life.

You must be expecting me to write out my emotions now... But nope, B has it all written out:

Maybe you don’t end up with the person your heart chooses. Maybe that’s not how life works. Maybe you don’t get what you want. Maybe you end up finding what you need, and maybe the Universe knows what you need more than you do.

Maybe love changes. Maybe it goes from “I’ll wait up and call you after work,” to “I’m going to sleep, I’m tired.” Maybe it goes from “You have nothing to worry about,” to “I really wish you didn’t overthink so much.” Maybe it goes from “I choose you,” to “I have to choose myself right now.”

Maybe love isn’t one of those things that grows with certain people. Maybe you become too big for it. Maybe it becomes too uncomfortable, too small for who you change into. Maybe it’s like that sweater you always loved growing up, or your childhood bed. You learn to appreciate it for what it was, but you come to terms with the fact that you have outgrown it. You learn to let it go. 

And maybe letting go of love isn’t some loud celebration at the end of a dark tunnel. Maybe letting go is the moment you decide that you can no longer keep the past alive inside of you. Maybe it is quiet, maybe there is no checklist, or way of telling if it has actually happened. Maybe it is simply just you learning how to release your grip, how to let things be, how to lay down your arms. Maybe that is how it's done — in the silence of it all, in the calmness of everyday life.

I am starting to learn that maybe walking away is the best thing you can do for yourself, and for the person you love. Maybe walking away is you making peace with the fact that sometimes things and people and happiness changes. Maybe it is the bravest thing you can do. Maybe, when you walk away, you’re not making the biggest mistake of your life. Maybe, when you walk away, your life is just beginning.

Words: @rainbowsalt